Chapter Five |
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I think an elder should be very concerned about inactive Christians. I think that’s what one of the major roles of an elder is, to be concerned about inactive Christians, but I also think that it’s a job of every Christian to do whatever they can, but I think that if that’s part of the flock then, you know, then you’ve got responsibility to do the best that you can, whether it be preaching to them, calling them, sending them cards, not forgetting them and letting them know that they’re not forgotten. I mean I think people—the longer they get away with something like that without any contact, the more apt they are to stay that way, but I think that if they know that there is, there are people concerned about them, and that if you can let them know that their soul is in jeopardy, that God does care, and if you ever believed, and if you ever was a Christian truly and believed in God and the destination of your soul and eternity, then sooner or later that thought’s going to come back, unless something really weird goes on in your mind, and I think that we have to do the best we can, and I think it is an elder’s responsibility.That participant, along with all the others, had a great desire to “be shepherds of God’s flock” that is under their care (1 Pt 5:2).
Well, I used to soft soap it a lot. But now I just go head on. I walk in like a bull in a china shop and say, “We want to know what the problem is, and what can I do to help?” [We] try to get the bottom of it, rather than just skirting the issue. I dunno if after you have talked with them and somebody else has talked with them if you went to them and had the backing of the church to say we’re going to withdraw from you—“If you’re not back making your confession at such and such a time”—I just wonder if that would not cause them to think more than all the talking and the begging, pleading you could do. But you have to have the backing of the church in order to get that done. But we’ve got to find some way to get them back but I don’t know what it is. I’ve tried and tried and tried. But, we’re getting very few of them back.While this participant’s “bull in a china shop” strategy may not fit with earlier research regarding reaching inactive Christians, he clearly feels qualified to work with fallen members.
Well, as of today, there’s mainly one way that we deal with anybody in that category, even the slacker. We have three elders, and we each have a list of names, and if somebody doesn’t attend in, I mean it’s really up to the elder, but we say like try to make it a week. If somebody misses all three services in the week, then we put forth some kinda of effort to contact them—whether it be phone, card, visit, and see if we can, you know, generate interest.This elder felt qualified in working with inactive members, and he seeks to put forth efforts to reach inactive members.
I’ve got one person that I call and she has, well, “I’m been in Florida.” Well, I think, well that’s a good excuse. Uh, she’ll say, “I’ve been in Florida and, you know, I’m gonna be back next Sunday. I just got back this week.” And never see her, so we’ll call her again. “Well, I’ve been sick. Haven’t been feeling good; I’m just wore out all the time. I know I should come; I’m planning on it.” And then last time I call her she didn’t even give me that much hope. But see now the way we kinda look at it is once something like that happens, the next thing we need to do is go visit her.The subject believes he has appropriate communication skills, and he attempts to use those skills when he telephones or visits this inactive member.
I recall one young lady . . . who was coming to church, kinda coming. [She was] supposed to be a member and was living with a man and wanting us to help her . . . . We both went to her and said, “You know, we can’t help you in your current situation. You’re not faithful to God. You’re living in sin.” She didn’t like it very well, but I don’t think either one of us hesitated to do it. In fact, she didn’t come back anymore.The participant’s concern rested in doing the right thing, not in how the inactive Christian perceived the situation. If he had concerns about anger she might have expressed, he would not have so easily confronted her with her sin.
We had some folks that needed discipline. And this was right after the deal out in . . . Oklahoma . . . whenever the lady sued the elders of the church and all that stuff. And I said, “We need, you know, we need to do something about this. We need to withdraw. We need to go see ‘em, and we need to go through the steps of, you know, Matthew 18: go see ‘em and if they won’t hear, then take a couple and go and then talk to the church and withdraw our fellowship from them to show them . . . . It’s not to prove to us or to the world that they’re not a part of us . . . . It’s to show them that they’re lost. It’s the whole idea about church discipline from 1 Corinthians 5 so that they know that they’re not in a right relationship with God beyond a shadow of a doubt.” He [a fellow elder] said, “I ain’t doing nothing like that.” He said, “I’ve worked too hard for the things that the Lord’s give me.” He said, “I’ll not be a part of that.” So, anyway that has kinda been the—I think since that thing out there in Oklahoma—I think church discipline dropped off from whatever it was to below the radar. I think that’s had a big impact on people.Obviously the case did not have a big impact on that participant, for he desired to carry out discipline in spite of any legal repercussions.
We sent out a letter a year or so ago encouraging our members to let the elders when they were going to be out of town. Now, we emphasized we’re not trying to be nosy, we don’t care particularly where you’re going, but we would like to know that you are planning to be out-of-town or that you’re sick. We like for them to call us when they’re sick. ‘Cause it’s easier for one person to be responsible for his action than for me to be responsible for about seventy people. So, we’ve encouraged them to call us when they’re going to be away, and we have a lot of people who did that and some of them are a little drifting away from that plan, but, you know, you just have to remind them every now and then that we’d like for you to do this. But most of them, we know where they are.In another context, the same participant told how he proposed the three elders evenly divide the congregation to watch for members’ becoming inactive.
Well, there was some folks that we knew were not showing up very often. So, we wanted some type of plan where the elders would, uh, well, I don’t know how much they told ya, but, you know, we divided the congregation into three groups and each one of us is responsible for a third of the congregation. Uh, we felt rather than the whole group trying to be responsible for everybody that it was simpler for one man to kinda watch out for these others and then you can.The elder constantly kept looking for ways to reach more people and to do so with greater effectiveness.
| "Sometimes it's the
attraction of the world. Sometimes they're just lazy.
Sometimes they'd rather go fishing or whatever." |
| "Tvs, newspapers, radios,
things of that nature. they just have more interest in them than
they do in serving God and saving their soul." |
| "Some of the reasons are
taht, in my opinion, the times in which we live, the church is just not
'exciting' enough for them. They're looking for a lot of exciting
things, a lot of mysticism, and entertainment." |
| "I think that's another
factor, that people just get involved in so many things of the world
that they just let those things pull them away. I've seen that
happen more than one time." |
| "Worldly things.
Sometimes it's family problems. Sometimes it's problems within
the congregation itself. But, I think it's more worldly
attractions, things to look at in the world that they want to do rather
than work on their own soul." |
I still think that the secret to getting them back is having the fear of being withdrawn from the whole congregation is the one thing that would help more than anything else. But it seems that this is something that when you get to thinking about it I’m sure you’ve seen the church get black eyes from people who left the church and how many times did you see the church actually withdrawal from them? It’s just something that the religious world does it, and I don’t know why that we can’t do it. It’s a tough way to go. It’s a tough love when you get to thinking about it.The same participant fears that too many active Christians remain in close contact with their inactive brethren: “I really think that when somebody really turns their back on
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